The Darkest Nights

In the depths of winter, the early sunsets leave us with long, chilly nights, where we are likely to be tucked into our houses, only braving the deep darkness when absolutely necessary. This stillness can be the perfect time for turning inward…considering our desires, longings, needs: revisiting an intoxicating memory, musing over a beloved (perhaps unfulfilled?) fantasy, reflecting on how this year has changed us and our needs.

So much of sexuality—particularly when it comes to kink and fetish—is figuring out the thoughts and foundations undergirding our desires. It can be a muddy, messy process, and the answers can be complex. While much discussion of sex focuses on its physical manifestation, any good kinkster knows that what happens in the mind is what creates the shiver up the spine, the twitch of nerve endings, the thrill of pleasure. In a word, anticipation: the excitement of not knowing whether that anticipation will be affirmed or subverted.